How many times have you made a New Year’s resolution that got lost along the way? You start out with great resolve and change your behavior for a while. Before long, however, you’re back to your old habits.

Let’s face it. Behavior change is hard. What’s familiar is always the path of least resistance. Unforeseen challenges arise and throw you off track. Things improve a little and you forget the pain that made you want to change in the first place. Before long you figure that maybe you don’t need to follow through after all.

There are many reasons why New Year’s resolutions fail. If you embark on your behavior change program aware of these challenges and, even more important, of what you can do to prevent them from derailing you, you empower yourself to succeed.

Here are four common pitfalls, and what you can do to avoid them.

Lack of Commitment

Every January Chris resolved to lose weight. Remembering the holiday food orgy that stretched back to Thanksgiving, he promised himself that he would diet.

He would start off all right, but by mid-January Chris began tiring of salads. He felt tempted by his favorite cheesecake. By February he found himself back in his old habits.

Chris never really believed himself when he promised to lose weight. He lacked commitment. He’d been heavy since college and most of his family suffered from overweight.  Underneath, he figured that being overweight wasn’t so bad, after all.

He got a wake-up call, though, when his father received a diagnosis of adult onset diabetes.  When a weight-related disease hit close to home, Chris realized it could happen to him. For the first time in his life, he felt motivated enough to fully commit to a program of self-care for the health and well being of his body.

Chris became expert in the dangers of overweight, learning about its contribution not only to diabetes, but to heart disease and even cancer. He realized how much he wanted to be around to watch his young daughter grow up. His father’s illness reminded him that he did not have forever.

This time Chris felt determined to succeed. He followed through with his new commitment by hiring a life coach. 

When you identify something in your life that you want to improve you are taking the first step toward behavior change. You need a deep level of commitment, though, to keep on track. Only strong commitment can help you through the temptations to regress and periods of discouragement, which undermine success. You create the necessary commitment by developing a thorough knowledge of the situation. 

First clarify the values that underlie your decision to change. Really affirm why success matters to you.

Now focus on the benefits you will enjoy once you have successfully transformed your behavior. Visualize how you will feel and how others will view you when you succeed.  Become aware, too, of any costs involved in changing. For instance, you may need to spend less time with friends who encourage your problem behavior. 

Next, become an expert on the costs of staying right where you are as well as the benefits. The costs may be obvious. No matter how high cost your problem behavior is, however, there are some benefits involved or you wouldn’t be doing it. How you make do without these benefits will be an essential part of your behavior change strategy.

Once you have made a thorough study of all aspects of the situation, write it all down. Then, whenever you waver, return to what you have written to remind you of your commitment.

Create a phrase, which expresses your commitment. Then repeat it to yourself daily and any time you are tempted to lapse. 

First thing every morning and right before he went to bed Chris repeated his phrase, “Self-care is my top priority.” He also used it any time he felt tempted to indulge.

Lack of Planning

Together Chris and his coach designed a realistic program of healthy eating, different from the crash diets he had attempted in the past. He could comfortably maintain this system over time and enjoyed a slow but steady weight loss.

From his careful analysis Chris learned that much of his inappropriate eating was stress-related. An important part of his plan included alternative ways of handling his stress, such as relaxation exercises.

By March Chris noticed real progress.

Embarking on a behavior change program without careful planning is like taking off for a trip without maps or reservations. You may know where you want to go, but without knowing how to get there, you make it a lot harder to actually reach your destination.

Make sure your plan contains small, doable steps. The most common mistake people make when designing a behavior change plan is demanding too much of themselves all at once. You will feel overwhelmed if the tasks you set out to accomplish are unrealistic. You can more easily maintain progress that is slow and steady.

Use the analysis you made of the costs of changing and the benefits of staying the same.  Build strategies into your plan to deal with these situations and the potential challenges they create.

Think of your plan as an experiment. As you implement it, you will learn what works and what needs adjustment. When you encounter problems don’t give up. Revise your plan on the basis of your experience. By modifying your plan in response to any challenges that arise, you will avoid the discouragement that can keep you from achieving your goal.

Discouragement

Initially Chris stuck with his program and lost weight steadily. By March, however, he arrived at a plateau where his weight stabilized. Discouraged by lack of progress, he gave into temptation once in a while and ate a greasy pizza or a rich dessert. Significantly, every time he did this, he reminded himself of his commitment and got back on track the next day.

Chris had his wife take a photo of him at the outset of his weight-loss program and each month thereafter. Any time he despaired of making any progress, he looked back over his pictures. They told a powerful story that provided the encouragement Chris needed.

As Chris became accustomed to healthy eating, doing the right thing no longer seemed like such a big deal. He found it harder to appreciate his successes. Chris’s coach helped him to focus on his successes, no matter how small, and value his progress, even when it seemed slow.

Discouragement undermines any behavior change program. You feel disappointed about your lack of progress so you work less hard at your program. Your lack of dedication leads to lapses, which make you feel even less like trying. This vicious circle can lead to failure if you let it.

Setbacks are inevitable. Do not allow a lapse to become a relapse. Every time you get off track, the quicker you get back on track, the more likely you will continue on the path to success.

It can be difficult to notice progress when change occurs slowly over time. Create ways to track the progress that results from small changes over time. Take pictures at regular intervals or create a chart to measure your gains.Then, refer to these reminders when you get discouraged.

Celebrate any success, no matter how small.  When progress seems slow, focus on the small gains you are making to counter any discouragement which arises.  Reaffirm your commitment regularly.

Lack of Support

Exercise proved to be a big challenge for Chris. When his weight hit a plateau, exercise became necessary to raise his metabolism and help him burn more calories.  Getting himself moving was hard, though.

Chris joined the YMCA. After a few weeks he found it increasingly difficult to get to the gym for his workout. Before long he fell back into inactivity.

One day at work, Chris noticed some co-workers striding through the corridors. He learned that this group got together every day at noon to walk. In good weather they walked around the office park.  On bad days they walked the corridors. They never missed a day.

Chris decided to join them. He found it much easier to exercise with others. On those days that he didn’t really feel like it, he got up and walked with the group anyway. He felt embarrassed not to participate and didn’t want to let them down.

Attempting significant behavior change alone is a recipe for failure. Friends, family or a life coach cheer you on when you’re doing well. They provide perspective and encouragement when setbacks arise. Involve others in your behavior change program to create a support system that will help insure success. 

Establish a system of accountability. If you know that you need to report your progress — or lack thereof — to someone else, whether a coach or a friend, you are more likely to follow through.

Create a mutual support group with others who share your goals. You will learn from the experiences of others and benefit from giving and receiving support. Group members keep one another one track.

By June Chris felt certain that he would achieve his goals. His healthy eating habits felt normal to him. He enjoyed his regular midday walks so much, he couldn’t imagine doing without them. Most of all, pride in his achievement made him confident he would succeed. 

When January rolled around, Chris celebrated the fact that he didn’t need to worry about losing weight any more.  Now he turned his attention to clearing out the clutter in his office.  Based on his success with weight loss, as he made this New Year’s resolution Chris felt confident that he would succeed.

Like Chris, if you establish a strong commitment, plan carefully, stick with your program through periods of discouragement and involve others in helping you succeed, you will realize your New Year’s resolutions. You, too, will enjoy the satisfaction of making your good life better!